our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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