It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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