Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
