marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
