oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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