I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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