As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
