Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
