Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
