dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
