even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
