I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
