god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Holy sore nipples Batman
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
