i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I will be naked everywhere
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize