Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
