Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
