Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
