I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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