We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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