Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize