I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
