i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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