And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
