she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
