No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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