I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize