well I can't set my house on fire every night
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
