She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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