But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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