they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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