Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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