I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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