Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
