She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
