we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
