So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
