Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
