none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
