Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
