I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
