You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize