Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
