Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we're so committed to being not committed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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