I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
