yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
