He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
