My room smells like vodka and shame
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
