you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
