Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
