Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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