once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
