Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
