I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize