If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
