Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
