I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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