Whod you bang
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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