I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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