I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
