And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
why does every cop we meet know your name?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
