thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
