Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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