Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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