after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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