we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize