ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
