How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no, he came in my armpit
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize