Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
